Momoko

Listen to the passion of your soul, set the wings of your spirit free; and let not a single song go unsung.

                                                  Sylvana Rossetti

Last nite, while meeting up with some friends and talking bout experiences, a little voice from within me whispered, "what should I do?" I shook my head, trying to understand what had just happened. With sudden clarity, I realized I no longer wanted to be part of the high-stress, high-tech and artistic jungle anymore.

What did I wanna do? Do I really wanna great change in life? I had no idea.

Friends of mine were giving loads of ideas, motivation, nonjudgmental environment where I could sort things out. Ideas were great but come to the edge, I’m afraid.. Decision has to be made, they came and it pushes me to the max and… they fly off soon..

I’d always laid out my goals and marched forward, ticking them off as I passed by. I’d progressed from a rep to executive over the course of careers. What I had figured out was that something was missing in my life. And I knew that doing more of what I’m doing and getting more of what I’m getting wouldn’t going to fill this unidentified void. Maybe I should redefine "success" or "passion" in some other way.

What happened to the passion you once felt? where did it go? For many of us, probably buried under the weight of adolescence as we tried to fit into what was considered "great" or "satisfaction".

Should we embrace our passion and takes center stage in our life? I’m confused and I’m totally lost..

"When you’re facing difficult decision, he tells you to follow your heart no matter how crazy it seems." Maybe he could read my mind, How true is this?

Some things are getting in my way. They are keeping me from living the joyful life and I’m just too much going along with what other people are expecting me to do maybe from work.

It isn’t comfortable to start a new life with new job and etc, a life where I gotta live here. I gotta decide If I stay in my career or leave. It’s so scary. I know I’ve had enough of corporate life, but I don’t know what and how to proceed with another more competitive playground.

"Leap into this new life with passion and you will be finding your destiny..Have confidence in yourself and you can make it big." It sounds tempting. I left behind my spreadsheets and security, trusting that little voice within and those anachronistic signs planted in front of me to guide me along my way. I sold or gave away most of my possessions. My life would be simpler, it’s balanced and it’s happy.

Countless people wanna break the mold. They wanna do something out of character. They wanna have an experience that is going to change their lives. Do you ever feel like you’d like to do something out of the ordinary?

Wrong man enter your life without knowing the consequences..

Has anyone told you about the fairytale of the frog prince?

Has anyone said we’ve gotta kiss lotsa frogs before we meet the prince charming in life?

If there is a prince waiting for us, wouldn’t life be easier if they really were just frogs and all we had to do was kiss them? Apparently, it is having relationships with quite a few of the wrong men before we meet the ‘Mr Right’ in life.

Mr. Wrong does help us to grow. Relationships aren’t about dependence nor the company, it’s all about learning and growing together.

Mr. Wrong helps us to discover which men will always be wrong for us. Some guys are wrong for me, but some guys are wrong for every woman. Some people might dole out some personal folk wisdom like : Never go out with man with bad reputation for fooling around. We might be determined to find out the hard way, particularly if we fancy him like mad.

Didn’t really listen and had much fun ended up by just a glimpse of disaster. It’s only by experiencing such conflict that you find out just how much it does matter.

Sometimes, Mr Wrong helps us to figure out what we can tolerate and what we can’t. It’s hard to learn what  really matters in a relationship. When we are trying to decide what we want from a relationship, it’s really helpful if we have an idea of what we want from life in general. Emotional openness, Integrity, Maturity and Responsibility, High self-esteem, commitment to own personal growth and a positive attitude to life.

However, those requirements are differs widely from the next person. One thing for sure we will learn from going out with the wrong man is how easy it is to figure out what we want from that relationship.

When a relationship break up because they ain’t going anywhere, there’s often a hidden agenda. Whether we are eager to know the truth, the answer will never come true. But one thing, if it’s not right for us, please do not wait till it gets so bad that we aren’t right for us either? Just leave the wrong man and look for the right one. Leaving for a better life.

Wrong man will always drags us down to his level but the right man encourages us to fly.

What do you normally do while waiting for your family to shop?

1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples’ carts when they aren’t looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

5. Put some M&M’s on lay away.

6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won’t you people leave me alone."

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible.’

11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It’s those voices again!"

15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud….."Hey we’re out of toilet paper in here!"

Hehehe..How funny is this joke?

Standing at the board writing down some of my assignment, I hear snatches of conversation from group of my colleagues playing a game called life..

Their play has led to a discussion about what they want to be when they have reach 30 years old. One of them confidently announced she’s going to be a mother with 2 children. Another said she wanna train animal for movies.. And they turn to me and said :" Did you always wanted to be a singer?"

I purposely drop the eraser and bend to pick it up, stalling for time while I think of an answer. I respond," Well, nope. Actually I dream to be an actress." These girls roar with laughter and stating the dream that I have is not pragmatic.

I feel a little guilty because I wasn’t totally truthful. But how do you tell the girls reared in a world of female professional athletes, politicians, astronauts and fighter pilots that their colleague’s greatest aspiration for her future was to be?

The aspiration of achieving the elegance and charm inspired me to take beauty workshop where I desperately tried to walk balancing a book on my head and sit without crossing my legs at the knee and etc.. Silly or not?

Dreams are important.. Without them, little girls wouldn’t grow up to be chemical engineers, dog-trainer or teachers and so. As with all children who have ever dreamed, some will hold on to their dreams and make them come true, and some will not. But many of their dreams will change..Mine did.. I found a new dream, which is totally a new thing in my life..and I thinking I’m gonna make it happen this time.

We must go after our wish. As soon as we start to pursue a dream, our life wakes up and everything has meaning. Rediscover the passion in our own way - passionate self is just waiting to be invited back into our life.

There is a connection between self-nurturing and self-respect..

I woke up feeling cranky..I didn’t wanna wake up to go gym..I didnt wanna go to work although my work was piling up..I didn’t wanna do anything that resembled responsible behavior. It was that kinda day..

As I drank coffee, although I felt a headache coming up..Yes, there was hang over..Maybe I should go back to bed until it subsided. As I put my clothes into my gym beg, it seemed that my muscles were beginning to ache, or was the ache from my heart?I absolutely should be in bed.

I shuffled back to bed, wiggled under the covers and shut my eyes. Haha..another couple of hours of sleep would be good enough..I ought to get up.

On my way to the car..There was that headache and the beginning of a sniffle..What if i was contagious? The gym thingy could wait or probably do it after work..

Maybe I wasn’t actually getting the flu nor headache. To be Truthful, all I wanted was a little time off. I needed to nurture myself away from people, chores, career and the outside world. Did I have to wait to be sick to do that? Did I have to manufacture symptoms to provide myself with an excuse?Sigh..

I need a day off. Accept it. Toss out the guilt and enjoy a mini vacation. Pamper myself? To be back, refreshed physically, mentally & emotionally..

I had given myself permission to listen & respond to my own needs, to care for myself the way I tended to my family.

I didn’t need the crutch of illness to justify a rest. It was such a simple awareness, but then isn’t it the simple things that set us free?

Contrary to what many women believe, it’s easy to develop a long term, intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course, the guy has to be a Labrador or retriever. With human guys, it’s extremely difficult. This is because they don’t really grasp what women need and wish.

Let’s say a guy asks a women out to a movie. She accepts and they really have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out again, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and soon neither is seeing anybody else.

One evening, the women asks :"Do you realize that we’ve been seeing each other for about 6 months?"

Silence fills the car. It really seems like a very loud silence.

The women thinks to herself :"Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that i said that. Maybe he feels confined by our relationship. Maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation."

And the guy thinking :" So that means it was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means..lemme check the odometer..whoa! I’m way overdue for an oil change."

The women starts :" Is there anything that you wanna tell me?"

"Nope..I think i need an oil change." He said. The women shouted :"Maybe I’m too Idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting next to a perfectly good person who’s in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl fantasy."

"What?" he said. She gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse.

"Thank you. I got nothing to ask." she replies.

Then he takes her home and she lies on her bed, a conflicted soul weeping until dawn, whereas when he gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips, turns on  the TV. A tiny voice in his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he figures it’s better not to think about it.

If I were lucky this lifetime, I would learn the art of letting go..

I would start with the office gossips, that irritating joy buster. Gone!

Next would be my watch, keeper of rigid rituals and joyless appointment. Gone!

Procrastination, next big hit. Let the office work pile up on my table and open lots of windows chatting with friends via MSN. Just leave it there for months.

Next get rid of that worry dance I do. The health of my family members, not enough money, what people think, being alone, not being alone.. get a grip! Let it go..

I would travel the world and take lots of black and white photos of all the wonderful faces.

I would sit on the beach with my friends and eat junky hot dogs.

I would take long walks with my love ones through the village to the lighthouse.

Sometimes, I would sit quietly on my porch and listen to the birds for hours. Sometimes, I would put on jazz or rock and turn it really loud.

I would surround myself with people who love sports, party, travel…

I would spend my time living large and doing nothing.

I would sit back and enjoy the journey.

We tend to be critical and hard on ourselves, when this is the last thing we need, especially women. Most women are experts at supporting and being understanding of other people, but when come to themselves they fail miserably.

Everyone has an inner critic sitting on their shoulder watching and judging their every move. Have you ever noticed that no matter what you do, your critic is never satisfied? Nothing seem to please them.

Would you want a friend who was constantly critical of you, blamed you for everything? and yet you repeatedly give in to this tyrant.

It’s time to take charge, to bring in your positive, nurturing voice that will reassure you when you feel overwhelmed.

" Be the kind of woman who in the face of adversity will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly towards the challenge."

                                                                          Oprah Winfrey

A piece of meaningful advice..

Nothing had ever hit me quite so hard as driving behind the ambulance that was taking my daddy to the hospital. I caught a glimpse of the note my dad had scribbled " Please do take good care of mom and your brothers.."

He was unable to move on his own and was connected to an antibiotic syringe on his hands, which requiring complex care 24 hours. It was my dad’s worst fear come to life. That morning he was admitted that he had a life-threatening disease : pancreatic cancer. He shook his head in despair, felt like cars stopped at a red light that never turned green.

Overnight, his life was reduced to a bed and a body with vacant eyes that announced," Am i gonna recover soon?". I agonized, to someone I love and dependent on. I don’t dare to look at him straight to his eyes, never again I would feel the warmth of being his loving daughter again. Grief stalked me a the oddest moments.

We were in his funeral procession week after that. I couldn’t bring myself to see his body. I hope he’s still alive. I miss him. Always will.

I smiled to myself, Dad’s heart was home. At long last, so was mine.

We must learn to love ourselves and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done.

Most of us long for something more - more time, more friends, more money. But how many times have you heard yourself say :" I wish I had more time for myself?"or"I have to exercise and get in better shape." or " I want my life to be more fun." Sounds familiar?

Whether we are working day to day, balancing work and family, or trying to keep our head above the water,we are simply tired of feeling like we’re living a "Treadmill Existence". We have a choice, we can create our life we love.

Do appreciate and value yourself, for you have done extraordinary things.

Is anyone having attitude problem here? Is anyone out there is perfect? Oh come on, none of us are perfect.

We all are MUTANT, each and everyone has their own personality. That’s why GOD make HUMAN become the special one.Of course, except for TWINS.

I’m sure we’ve met some of these individuals with attitudes. But because of their negative attitudes, they seem to carry dark clouds over their heads.

What is actually lead to the negative attitudes? Because they are affected by the circumstances that they are dealing day to day.

What happens to us influences what goes on within us unless we master a process of taking control of our attitudes to maintain a positive approach to life even when negative events occur.

People that we come across are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. People who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they cant find them, make them.

If we look around, we can find dozens of examples of people whose attitudes don’t fit their apparent circumstances. One day in office, the boss asked one of the staff to work extra hard to sell an analyzer which costs RM 200K in order to achieve her year end target in which still RM 400K behind. OMG!! Evidently, she knew it was a MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, yet there was a smile on her face and obviously, joy in her heart to try her best.

What happens to you does not have to live within you.

Even bad circumstances can serve as stepping stones to your goals. Everyone of us endures hardships that can bring out the worst in us or inspire the best.

It all comes down to which attitude you choose.